*Places headphones in ears and hit’s play on Iphone, cue
song! MEN MEN MEN MEN, MANLY MEN MEN MEN MEN! J*
Yes the wait is OVER my next issue is here and it’s all about MEN. WHY? Because I felt I never did them any justiceL. In issue 2 “Body Simplicity” I gave small snippets of what type of woman they would want, however I decided to go deeper with this issue and let the beloved Male species take centre stage while I stand back and work the curtain ha-ha. I wanted EVERY FEMALE YOUNG AND OLD to see into the mindset, the psyche and the inner workings of the male mind. What makes them tick? What do they really think of Modesty? And what type of female would they bring home to Mother?
I must say it proved most enlightening to do this interview
over this past week, and what I can say is everyone super exceeded my
intentions! I tell you ladies we have some heavy hitters here, just like Mike
Tyson and Muhammad Ali POWW! THEY’LL KNOCK YOU OUT WITH THEIR ANSWERS!
Now I know the question is posed what about Marriage? How do
they REALLY feel about it? Well I did the leg work for all those enquiring
minds, and I think (well I hope) Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would be proud! (Side
eye! O_o who the shamrock is she I hear
you say!)
Born 15 September 1977) she is a Nigerian novelist
and short story writer. She has been called "the most prominent"
of a "procession of critically acclaimed young Anglophone authors that is
succeeding in attracting a new generation of readers to African literature.
Still not ringing a bell? WELP she also features on Beyonce’s popular song
FLAWLESS (yes I hear you say OOOHHHHHH YEAHHHHH). So what does she have to do
with this Men’s issue, well she made a very valid point in the song in which
she said;
“ …But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage, and we
don’t teach boys the same?” STOP!!!
^^^^^^^^^ THIS IS SO
TRUE^^^^^^^^ RIGHT!
Well I think over time this dynamic is slowly changing. There
ARE those in this world that want to get married who aspire to marriage,
however what is the problem? Well I think these men who I have interviewed will
give you a small insight into why. Even celebrities(although you can’t take
some seriously) they are gradually taking that step, as they slowly realise
that having sex with every Jane, Carmel and Rosalina isn’t working. Yes they
are “FUN” for a reason and a season, but when it comes down to “jumping that
broom” so to say, they begin looking for deeper qualities for that Wife material.
The first to the stage, (as I direct the HOT LIGHTS in his
direction) is Tyrese! I follow him on instagram and I must say he is very down
to earth, wise and obviously handsome <<< but that’s not the point
teehee. He posted on his insta a few weeks ago …
“ I will find her-
this ring means nothing without a heartbeat to go along with it. Nothing more
attractive than a smart, sexy, independently successful woman whose been
through some “stuff” in her life and she hasn’t allowed a thing to steal her
JOY- I want my wife to be so committed to God that I would have to commit
myself even more to seeking HIM in order to win HER”
Now isn’t that beautiful! He doesn’t just want a pretty
face, no he wants a woman of substance, spirituality and a sense of self!
Slowly you are seeing men in the film industry, music industry and so forth
settle down because they understand to a degree the importance of community
building, family building and sharing your life with the right person. George
Clooney, Brad Pitt, J Cole, Ludacris, Kevin Hart, Dwayne Wade are some of the
stars who have either settled down recently and or are engaged. Let’s hope this
doesn’t become a “Hollywood Trend” and they actually stick together.
Now that, that’s all said and done, let’s get down to
business. I stumbled across this article on PINTREST called WHAT MEN REALLY
THINK ABOUT MODESTY by thefulltimegirl.com.
It wasn’t an interview per say but more so a testimony from all men religious
and non religious. So I’m going to let them take the wheel!!
“Modesty is the
attitude of what you want to draw another person’s attention to. It has every
bit as much to do with how you carry yourself as it has to do with how you
clothe yourself. What attitude do your eyes wear? What attitude do your hands
portray? Don’t kid yourself – you could be completely covered and still be
immodest. Where immodesty draws attention to temptations, a modest person draws
attention away from temptations to the valuable things of life that build
another up. Beauty is not contrary to modesty; how that beauty is used in the
service of others is where the focus should be. Check your heart – where do you
want to draw another person’s attention to? You in all of your temporary human
glory of God in all of his majestic glory?” –Tony
“I think that modesty is one of the most important ways that
women can respect both themselves, brother’s AND other sister’s in Christ, and
other men and women in culture. Modesty
helps men to see you for who you are and not just your outward appearance. Every man struggles with lust and women can
either help or hinder them by how they dress.
Modesty is most importantly biblical as read about in 1 Timothy 2:9-10! Modesty also does not just include the
clothes you wear but the way you carry yourself. Just because God gave you a beautiful body
doesn’t mean you can show it to everyone.
Your body (just as with your virginity) should be saved and shown only
to your husband.” –Craig
“As a college-age guy, I would totally rather pursue/date a
girl who dressed modestly. I find that so attractive. I don’t know why, but
there’s so much more to a modestly dressed girl than one who reveals too much
skin. Modesty reveals so many things about a woman. It reveals her courage, her
true beauty and her confidence; things that real, Godly men want, things that
will make men respect her”. –Jonathan
“I feel like in order for women to respect themselves and
their bodies, they have to live a modest lifestyle. They have to love being
modest because any man in his right mind should know what’s appropriate for
women to wear, how they carry themselves, what they say and what isn’t. I
personally prefer to associate myself with women who know what it means to be
decent, especially out in public.” –Rashaun
“I’ll often make a judgement on who a girl is by what she is
dressed like. I know this is not right but simply put I don’t want to be with a
girl that dresses for attention. I want to be with a girl that is aware of how
her dress affects men and is sensitive to that by understanding it’s typically
a man’s biggest weaknesses.” –Jeremy
“The most beautiful girls are the ones who dress modestly.
Yea, there are really attractive girls who don’t dress modestly, but when you
see a beautiful girl dressed modestly there’s something more about them.
There’s this illuminating light that shines through them that’s more attractive
than anything else, and it causes you to step up and be a man if you want to
have a chance with her”. –Brian
“One definition I saw that caught my eye of the word modesty
was “lack of vanity.” Most people relate it to how we dress or speak. I just
wonder why most women would want to be so open with the way present
themselves. The women I’ve seen like
that get accepted by all kinds of guys.
You look at how the relationship turned out, they are hurt and the man
stole something from them very valuable that can’t be given back. Their dignity. To me, being modest is more
attractive than a girl in a low cut tank and some booty shorts.” –Preston
“It’s difficult to ask a girl to be modest in this culture.
We are a culture in which sex sells. Literally. But if sex appeal sells, why
would you want to sell what God has already bought and redeemed?” –Zach
“Ladies, the truth is that men like seeing skin. Men enjoy
seeing you flaunt “what you’ve got.” Your popularity may rise. Your “likes” and
“shares” may even skyrocket the more pictures you post of yourself showing more
of yourself. With Christmas approaching think of how you present gifts to those
you love. I know this example may not be applicable to some but I think most of
you reading this plan on wrapping gifts. You conceal the gift and that somehow
makes it more special. Your body is a gift that you can present to your
husband. Keeping it “wrapped” might just make it more special to him and to
you. Which is more valuable, that which is easily attained and seen or that
which is rare and hidden?” –Adam
WOOOOOOO WHAT CAN I SAY!!! ARE THESE TESTIMONIES FIRE OR
WHAT!!!
Now based on this article I decided to do my own
investigation. I tried my best to find a balanced medium of men some religious
and non religious lol either way the consensus was all the same of what they wanted and was
looking for. I formulated 7 questions and expressed that my disclaimer was that
they tell the truth from their heart and not what they “thought” I wanted to
hear for my blog. Some of the answers are very honest, but REAL, and this is
what I loved. The questions are below, along with some of my highlights!
Interview Questions
1.
What does Modesty mean to you? Dictionary terms define it
as
The quality of being modest; freedom from
vanity, boastfulness, etc.
Regard for decency of behaviour, speech,
dress, etc.
Simplicity; moderation.
However what does it mean to YOU
personally? (In reference to females)
2.
In reference to females and their styles, which one
stands out for you personally? I.e. Tomboy, Classy/Elegant, Everything
Revealing, Nothing but Name Brand etc. And Why?
3.
What qualities would a female have to have in order for
you to bring her home to your Mother?
4.
Over the past 5 years, and now that we’re in 2015, what
has and is your perception now of the Female Species? (Please Answer Honestly)
5.
Based on your perception of the Woman, do you think or
believe there are women worth marrying?
6.
What does Marriage mean to you? And what marriages
inspire you personally?
7.
Do you want to get married? If Yes Why, If No Why?
“I think modesty means having a natural look and not having
the looks of this world but dressing/acting respectable. I would have to put this
in there, I don’t necessarily think dressing/acting respectable is all just
Muslim dress but for an example India Arie, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill etc.
Modesty means that you don’t have to prove anything to the world that we are
living in and that you know that you’re a Goddess so your being expresses
enough.”
“…5 years ago, I may have thought “Beyoncé” is BAD!
But as I grew and evolved in spiritual wisdom, I realise a lot of our women
including the celebrities lack the knowledge of self. Alicia Keys and Beyoncé
as beautiful and influential as they are; they can really harmonize on a
soundtrack and have excellent marketing skills but if I asked them about
themselves they probably couldn’t tell me. And now on the mainstream it is
getting worse and worse. Look at Nicki Minaj, she is talented and has made a
lot of money but it seems like the more famous and popular she becomes the less
clothing she wears. So Satan has strategically manipulated the minds of our
women to make them become sex symbols and this is what distracts us as a people
from waking up and raising her. So it’s our duty now to elevate our women and
show her in a more positive light.”..
“The style a man gravitates towards in a woman is directly
reflective of the quality of his relationship with Allah God. If he wants what
Allah wants, which he should, then since Allah’s requirements are that the
woman should be covered then he’ll desire a woman that is covered. So, covered
for me. That’s in public though. If I were married, I wouldn’t mind her being revealing
because she is in her domain and has a right to impress, arouse and seduce her
King.”
“Marriage to me when done correctly is as close to
Allah (God) that any to people can be. Marriages that inspire me are the ones
that just work. And how I know there working is because I can tell the marriage
makes the individuals better personally”
“The marriages that inspire me are all marriages that are
not understood from the outside eye.
Like we can condemn Beyonce and Jay Z until we are black and
blue but within their marriage only they know what they have.”
“I want to keep it short and sweet but for me to introduce
you to my mother I have to see my mother in you, do you understand?
Like when someone says to me your Well spoken or etc that to
me is a reflection of my mother’s upbringing so I would never introduce my mum
to someone who is not worthy and never get it twisted I'm not introducing them
to my mum I'm introducing my mum to them
There's a very big difference”
This is just some of the handsome men I interviewed for this
issue, however I couldn’t put all of their answers up BUT!! (WAIT FOR IT!!) I did
put all interviews with PICTURES in a PDF format that one can download and read
in their own leisure time! Trust me ladies and gentlemen you will enjoy, just
make sure you put on the kettle for some tea ;).
This can be found attached to this blog issue.
In conclusion I hope and pray we have learned something today
about the man’s psyche, even though we may “think” it’s simple because they
have simple needs, they are very deep, considerate, loving and at the end of
all the craziness they do, when it comes down to it they all want a Beautiful,
Smart, Elegant, Respectable Young Woman…in the words of Aaliyah “Tell Me Are
YOU that somebody?”
“When a culture of Ladies arises…a culture of Gentlemen will
follow” Jason Evert
Until Next Time My Lovelies
Fashion.Silhouette.
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